Travelogues
OZ Blog 2005-2006 wanderings in the outback
JimBo's Awful Week 
(why he quit writing in 2002)
Awful, Wonderful II with
South
America
High Road to Kathmandu
Run for Your Life
(1999-2000
journey through South America, the Middle East & Central Asia)
It Will Be So Awful, It Will Be Wonderful
(1996 trip through Africa and Central Asia)
Roses are red, violets are blue.
We tied the knot in Kathmandu.
He is stoned, she has diarrhea.
Was this his or her idea?
Update:
Jim Klima passed away on May 8, 2007 from complications of Multiple Myeloma. This web site will continue to be maintained by his spouse, Suebee.
Ten Commandments of Travel (with a Mate)
- GOOD, BAD AND UGLY. The best experiences, the worst debacles and the
most unforgettable moments happen serendipitously and cannot be planned,
anticipated or avoided. Spurn thy mate's desire for hotel reservations,
a fixed itinerary or an automatic transmission.
- VAUABLES. Safeguard thy most precious possessions (flyswatter, ear plugs
and universal sink stopper) even from thy mate. Store photocopies of important
documents such as passport, airline ticket and credit cards on thy mate's
body. Also memorize, repeat memorize, thy mate's PIN numbers.
- MATESHIP. Thou shall not abandon thy traveling companion in spite
of loud snoring, racist or sexist remarks or contagious disease. Should
thee become separated from one another by a rampaging mob, insane vehicular
and animal traffic or a frantic toilet search, return to the point of
last eye contact.
- TRANSPORT. When traveling by air, spend the night before sleeping
in the airport lounge. When traveling by sea, always purchase tickets
for deck passage. When traveling by bus or train, try to get a seat. Chain
up thy luggage and drape thy mate over it.
- EATING AND SLEEPING. Rotate food and lodging power (where to sleep
and where to eat) on a daily basis. Decision-making (or getting even for
thy mate's stinginess, eccentricity or poor choices) works best if applied
unilaterally without regard for thy traveling companion.
- HEALTH. The "healthy" one makes the decisions for the "sickie"
who must obey even if it means abandoning the dream of a lifetime (crawling
toward Everest Base Camp while spewing all over the track). Offer no
sympathy for diarrhea--happens to all travelers. Tell thy mate to go
with the flow and remind him or her that a proper loo is in the mind
(and hamstring muscles) of the beholder.
- SANITATION AND HYGIENE. Losing thy sense of clean is inevitable if
thou are traveling right. Overlook thy mate's aroma du jour and wear only
black skivvies. If thy mate's standards for sanitation and hygiene are
not flexible (and comparable to thy own), thy trip is doomed.
- SEX. If thou want sex on thy trip, bring it with thee. Life does not
imitate the movies, romance novels or thou's horny dreams, especially
for Americans, well men at any rate…ok, me. Keep close watch on thy
mate around Italian men.
- FUN. "You're young, you're free, you're on the other side of
the world. For f**k's sake, have some fun!!!! Travel mantra observed on
the bulletin board in a London hostel (the four exclamation points are
theirs, not mine). Equally applicable to the young at heart.
- ABOVE ALL ELSE. Disregard thy mate's worries, objections or nightmares
and adhere to the Lonely Planet guidebook motto: "Don't worry about
whether your trip will work out, just go."
OUT THERE. Leave your camera, MP3 player and laptop computer at home. Buy a phone card and stay out of cybercafes. If you are quitting your job hoping for the "trip of a lifetime," then go as far "out there" as possible. The rewards of sharing such with a mate can be golden. But do not forget: traveling with a mate--especially on the cheap over a long period of time under diabolical conditions--can be the ultimate test of a relationship. Accompanying me on my very first little budget journey abroad was a woman I met via a classified newspaper ad. The trip only lasted a couple weeks and she dumped me before my backpack slid down the chute of the luggage carousel when we returned but my eyes were wide open thereafter.
